We (my fiance and I) just got back from a 10 hour one way trip down south to close up his property and move the rest of his things up here. It was a great, though physically demanding, trip and we realized on the way home that we’ve been “a couple” for about eight months now and haven’t had our first fight yet! That’s got to be a record.
Still, I found myself moody at times this week, and then I realized the dates and why. This week would have been our 27th wedding anniversary, and we always did our anniversary up big ( Tough Times ). Even when you try to ignore things, that old spiral comes back to bite you. Even when you try to focus on the positive and how wonderful life is now, that ache of loss can still sneak in.
We were sitting in Mass on Sunday and, out of nowhere, I heard his voice as if he was whispering directly in my ear saying, “Be happy, Sweet Cheeks.” I know it was permission from him to be happy again and to continue living.
This week will be difficult, I’m sure, although probably not as badly as past years. Still, I wonder if certain dates will every slip by without remembering, or without a little bite from the ever messy grief spiral.
Life goes on….. Life can be happy again…… But the loss never goes away……